Life Update #234584950.6

Hello everyone. It is Sunday and Sunday means I have some time! Aw yeahhhh. I love Sundays. I joined my ward Choir and today we practiced this. It's going to be really pretty, and it gives me goosebumps when we sing it.It's about our Savior and the Atonement. If you have questions about what that means visit here.  I made a goal that I would do things that scared me this semester, things that put me out of my comfort zone. And yes that means joining choir....it also means joining a soccer team. I joined with a big group of people from home. The other night we also played against another big group from home. I'm so thankful to have so many people from home around me, it reminds me home still exists and people actually know where I'm from.

So this semester I am in a class called "Early Field Experience" and I go to the schools twice a week and I'll teach and help with whatever the teacher needs. I'm learning SO much. SOOO much! I'm really starting to picture myself as a teacher, and I'm starting to realize what it is I want for my future students! I'm so excited to have my own classroom one day, and the teachers at my University for the most part were those teachers who you always remembered as a kid. They are so passionate about teaching and changing lives it's so contagious! Teaching children gives me an energy you can't get anywhere else. Where else can you go to work and your "co-worker" (read:student) tells you their favorite food is "cheetos and bacon!!!" Come now.

On the other hand their is so much that goes into teaching that you never know about until you are on the other side. I work with children who for the most part live with people other than their parents and where some only come to school so they can eat and be in a safe place for a portion of the day. It really breaks my heart and it's something I'll have to work on not taking home with me one day when I do have my own classroom.

I'm really loving my roommates this semester. Something has changed and I am no longer the baby! I'm the old one now. Weird. Super weird. I'm not sure how to feel about it, but as for now I'm rolling with it. I think the reason why I don't have too much of a problem with it, is because I've been where they are now. I don't want to go back and I'm happy to be progressing along into adulthood and it means I'm that much closer to graduating. Only two semesters more after this. Life is a lot different now than it was before I took a break from school. I was such a terrible student before. Very irresponsible. Now I can tie my own shoelaces and everything. I don't remember anyone telling me that College is hard. Really hard. I feel like every time I talk to my Dad I have an ugly cry breakdown. His advice was "take one day at a time", and I've been doing just that. Sometimes I think my teachers must have forgotten that we're humans and can't stay up 24 hours a day doing homework, projects, lesson plans, etc.

I had to spend four hours in a wheelchair on Tuesday as  part of a simulation for my special education class. It's serves to help me have more empathy for future students who may have special needs. I was getting a long pretty okay, but we had a list of tasks we had to accomplish and one of them was going up and down a hill. I knew this was going to be one of the harder challenges and I came to the conclusion that I was very right when I was trying to wheel myself up a hill. I thought I was going to die to put it nicely. I was getting up but it was a very slow go. A few people walked past me,and didn't say anything but then this boy was walking by and anyone could see I was clearly struggling. He bent down and asked me if he could push me where I needed to go. He was absolutely kind. It was so strange because I recognized him, and came to find out that he was from home and was getting married that weekend and I had met his fiance before and we had a few different connections. It restored my faith in humanity that some people are just good. He didn't have to help me but he he could see my struggle. I committed myself that day to be a little better like the boy who helped me. It also gave me an appreciation for my healthy able legs.

I'm off for now..until another few months...au revoir.

Favorite Occurence

Serendipity: (n.) finding something good without looking for it.

And Then I Went Mad...

So here I am it is 3:47 A.M. and I am currently working on a project for my Children's Literature class. The project started out where I was feeling like this...

Then about 6 hours later I felt a little more like this...

And now I'm feeling like this

I'll probably end up like this...

But then again I could end up like this...

This is more likely though....

But it could possibly end up like this....

*All modeling agencies, please contact my agent to book me for more photo shoots. Please nothing sooner than at least 3 months out, as you can probably assume from the gorgeous photos shown above...I'm pretty booked. 

Settling In

The pictures are for my mother. Sorry they are not better Mumsie. But that is the gist of my apartment. My favorite is my my photo collage on my wall. I get to look at it every night and it makes me really happy, because I get to sleep next to the people I love. I'm taking the advice of my dearest sweetest Jari and treating my new school experience just as that; NEW. I remember back in January I could not wait to get back to school. I had a calendar I'd cross off each week...53 days until I leave! 40 days until I leave!! I was wishing my time away hoping the time to leave would come sooner and sooner. Then something crazy happened, I started loving my time at home. I was so happy and thought "no no no, time needs to slow down, I don't want to leave ever!" I had wasted at least two months thinking how much I wanted to leave home that I gave up on life a little. I didn't care about anything but the fact that I got to leave soon so what I did at home up until that point didn't really matter much. When time came to actually move away I was so sad to leave and even more sad that I had wasted precious time not getting to know those around me sooner, as well as spending time with my family. But in everything there is a lesson to be learned. I am feeling a little bit like I was this past January...I can't wait until I go HOME, but this time I am stopping myself from thinking that way, because the truth of the matter is time passes. It always has and it always will. I'll be home soon enough but for right now I'm at school. I don't want to look back thinking I wish I had spent my time better, and enjoyed my experience for what it was rather than spending 4 months wishing I were home instead of in Idaho. So that is what I'm trying to do, as President Monson calls it "Finding Joy in the Journey." We are going to live each day so might as well try to do it with a good attitude. Some days will be good and some days will be hard, but if we just push forward all will be well. One thing I do know is life is meant to be joyful.

"Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family."

-President Thomas S. Monson

 

We will be helped those days we do struggle, but remember we are not given more than we can handle. The Lord will never forsake us, He will not leave us, and I love that promise!

 

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.

It all works out. Don’t worry.

I say that to myself every morning.

It will all work out.

Put your trust in God,

and move forward with faith

and confidence in the future.

The Lord will not forsake us.

He will not forsake us.

If we will put our trust in Him,

if we will pray to Him,

if we will live worthy of His blessings,

He will hear our prayers."

 

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

 

 

Back in Tatortotland

Yeah...I'm back in Idaho. Right now, I'm kind of thinking...HEY WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!? But then I remember...oh yeah. It was mine...

So I'm trying to forget myself and just try and remember that the first few weeks are ALWAYS the hardest. Once I can get a routine down life will be much happier. My classes are going to be a lot of work, but I think I'm actually going to enjoy them for the most part. Campus is crazy different, but all in good ways. The school seems so huge and fancy now. Yep..fancy.

I really miss California. I love California sooooooooo much!! Why would anyone ever live anywhere else? I had so many amazing friends in California, fortunately I got to bring one with me. I know a lot of people who are actually here from home, and even though I don't really see them it comforts me, and I use them as  tangible objects in my mind that home really still does exist. I'm not stuck here forever, and soon enough I'll love Idaho again. I'm sure of it...sure...of..it...but alas I'm still waiting.

I think since my year break I feel like I don't know that many people anymore, and sometimes my day feels kind of lonely. I just go to class (which is often the best part of my day) and then I roam around alone. But in reality I feel like I do know quite a few people, but it feels a lot different this time around. I'm anxious to see my opinion at the end of the semester.

I miss my family mucho mucho. I can't even call my parents because they are vacationing so I've resorted to bugging my sister and brother. Also a sweet friend called me Monday night and he brightened my whole week. I crave voices from home.

I also wish I were a more decisive person. I don't know if I really even like the major Elementary Education. I can't tell if I"m just afraid of teaching, or if the whole thing is actually just really unappealing to me. But what should I do? I already feel like I've been in school for an eternity. I feel really lost in this aspect of my life. But I have this semester to decide if I want to keep this major or not. I'm in the "I'm never going to graduate" stage right now. It feel like I'm going to be stuck forever. FOREVER I tell you. Okay, I'm done. I have fun adventures from pre-Idaho days that I will blog about soon.

22nd Birthday Par-Tay

I have the MOST amazing friends in the world ever. Really. True. Last Saturday I mysteriously received a little decorated bucket that when you opened the lid a message was attached by individual stars. Each star read Alexie--Happy Birthday--March 3rd--Dress Warm--9pm--Don't be late. Then last night I finally got to find out what this mysterious message all meant! My friend Rachel picked me up and took me to my friend Sierra's house. Their was a huge bonfire...tables filled with tons and tons of every chocolate imaginable...her dads truck filled with blow up mattresses and more blankets than you could imagine. The whole night was based on my favorite things, star gazing, and chocolate! It was so beautiful. Rachel and Sierra put sooooooooooooooooo much work into it. It was so incredible. I have the greatest friends ever. I feel so loved and it gave me the energy I needed to get threw these next couple of weeks. Tomorrow is my real birthday so I'll spend it with family and just enjoy a day of doing whatever. 21 was an incredible year filled with events I learned a lot from. Can't believe it's been a year already. Here's to 22! 

True Words

Princess of China

Train

Hehe Hoho Haha

 What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

A hug and a quiche.

xoxo

Happy Valentine's Day!

OH..yes.

Change...Ch Ch Changin

So I'm trying this new thing, where I actually do things before the deadline creeps up on me and I make myself completely stressed out and psycho. I'm very happy with the results.

I have found an apartment. (DEEP BREATH) Doing such is SO stressful. Sheesh.
I've been thinking a lot lately, a past time of mine. Thinking..and I was thinking about how my life is soon going to be changing. Right now I spend all day with a baby. The important things are food, flash cards, and finding where your nose is. I take him to music classes and I get to shake my hips with the best of them. It's a fun little thing I love doing with him. It's at this awesome 3 story house where each level filled with crazy stuff. It's all about the arts and I just love it! So creative. Love love love.
ahem.
Back to my story. This job has taught me a lot of different things. Actually crazy amounts of things. #1 motherhood is so hard and I'm not even a Mom. But I've pretended for the past year. It's very rewarding and hasn't deterred me from wanting 20 children. Sometimes baby boy will sit on my lap, put both his little man hands on my cheeks and just look at me. I wonder what he sees as he just looks into my eyes and all around my face. I think he see's something I don't. His wide blue eyes light up and I just know he loves me. The job also comes with a lot of stresses as well. I think almost everyday this past week I cried my whole driving home from work. It's a lot of responsibility and I can get so stressed and I want to curl into a little ball.
 I use to tell this theory to my roommates, that I wish we could each have a Giant who would cradle us on demand. My giant could rock me to sleep, and make me feel better. I'm pretty sure that'd be lovely.

But alas (is that word really annoying or really smart sounding?) Heavenly Father helps me thru moments like that. This week I didn't know how much longer I could go on with the stress weighing on me, and He send reprieve and somehow I got off work early Wednesday and today I only worked until noon. Just the time I needed to de-fry my brain. This doesn't happen too often. Tender mercies.


I wonder how I'll handle going from this lifestyle back to the college lifestyle. I'm afraid the transition is going to be rough because of mere habit. What if I keep adding Y's to everything? "You guys I saw the cutest fishy today!"  "Aww look at that wittle birdy!"  "Where's my nose? Whhhhhhhere's my nosey??" I'm not sure in what context I would ever say those things, but HEY ya never know.

I'm trying really hard to find a car to buy but it's proving to be really hard! It's hard giving up all my money to crazy people on craigslist who sound like they are in second grade. "No, problums, Is in grate shapes!"

I started institute this week, and when I left I felt so happy. It was exactly what I've been missing in my life. I'm really grateful for institute. I'm also really grateful for my ward. They are so much fun, they do something every night. I decided I have to limit myself to one activity a week just because every night is too insane for me. I like my down time just like any other Grandma.

I saw "The Woman in Black" last night, and it was so scary!! I always leave movies like that feeling super embarrassed because I really can't control myself. I scream, and say really stupid things. I had my hand over my face for most of the movie, so I'm not sure why I was too scared to sleep last night. See how handy my giant would have been? I know you want one now.

There is my boring life update. You're welcome.

P.S. sorry for the music overload. I'm trying to make an Idaho road trip playlist and this is a handy spot to remember the songs and artists I like.

Pretty

Yes, I'm Weird.

Il est Magnifique

Simplicity

Have a listen

Oh where did the simple things in life go? Adulthood why did you gobble them up? I love that I will always keep the simple things, even if they only get to appear once in awhile.

{balloons}

-Walks

-Swinging

-Reading

-Grinning BIG at strangers

-Looking at the stars and imagining just what lies behind them

-Roller Blading

-Sunday drives

-Making tents

-Making cardboard box houses

-Sitting on a warm rock and simply thinking

-Talking about old memories, good memories

-Sending snail mail

-Receiving snail mail

-Love letters, thought out, sugary and sweet <3

-Scraped knees and unnecessary band-aids

-Lying on heater vents listening; listening to the air escape, feeling the warmth swishy swish on my face

-The Sandlot

-Mud pies

-Dirt roads

Buh..dum..dum

BLAH! My head may implode. My mind is so full so this post is going to be random, but being the thinker that I am, at some point all this brain vomit must come out. This past year has been a year I could have never seen for myself. It has been filled with so many twists and turns its RIDIKULUS.

I was talking to my mumsie about my blog the other day, and I was mentioning how I was worried people think I'm some depressed love sick human being. This isn't really me, but you know it's like you feel like writing when you're going through a struggle, but when you're happy you're just out living life. But my writings don't always come from a sad place, right now I just am. am. am. am. Whatever that means. I'm just floating a bit. I'm in this very weird stage where I'm almost leaving for school but it's still 4 months away, so I'm in bit of....  shall we say limbo.

I'm SO excited to go back to school. I've been thinking about this a lot. I was thinking why I am never completely content with where I'm living. It's because I want all the people I love in this world just to be in one place. That one place being near ME. I think about strangers who get to be in the company of said loved one's and I get frustrated. Why do complete strangers get to absorb the delicious company of those I! love and yet I am so far away from some of them. Boo.

Onward. Christmas was a joyous occasion as it usually is. We had my grandparents over for Christmas Eve dinner and also my grandma's sister and husband. We had a full house, but who would want it any other way really? Then we went to the Pope's for more Christmas festivities. Then Christmas morning we all opened presents and had a gay ol' time. I love my crazy family.

On Monday Rachel and me went exploring at a local park. We followed a creek until our feet were about to fall off. Then we swung on the swings until we couldn't see straight. I felt 5 again, and aren't those the best of days? I think so.

Thursday I went ice skating with some lovely friends. My friends really are lovely. I'm blessed with some really good ones. Like I mentioned before I wish I could have all my friends all the time. A lot have either left on missions, graduated, or have gotten married. But good thing is you are always making friends, and great one's are always coming my way.

Friday night I met up with a friend who I hadn't had a real conversation with in months. Was it amazing? Yes. We got frozen yogurt. Walked around forever, talked, talked, talked. THEN. We headed to the store and stumbled upon a 1,000 piece chalk set. We went to a near by parking lot and he had the grand idea of drawing handicap spots on all the parking spaces. SO FUNNY. Too bad our 1,000 piece chalk set didn't consist of only blue and white, because we were only able to fill 3 spots. Funny, nonetheless. Then we watched a Japanese movie called "Twilight Samurai." Then he moved to Idaho. Awesome. (not)

I'm back to work now watching the babes. He is a baby wonder. He is about to talk my ear off any day now. I mean he does already but between the "BO..EE...Mmmm's" I'm having difficulty making out what he's trying to get across to me. I'm like sound it out baby!

On Thanksgiving day I ran the "Run to feed the Hungry" 5k with friend Dana. It was pouring rain and absolutely freezing, but a blast nonetheless.

I got some sweet new running shoes. People hate on them but I'm LOVIN mine.