Change...Ch Ch Changin

So I'm trying this new thing, where I actually do things before the deadline creeps up on me and I make myself completely stressed out and psycho. I'm very happy with the results.

I have found an apartment. (DEEP BREATH) Doing such is SO stressful. Sheesh.
I've been thinking a lot lately, a past time of mine. Thinking..and I was thinking about how my life is soon going to be changing. Right now I spend all day with a baby. The important things are food, flash cards, and finding where your nose is. I take him to music classes and I get to shake my hips with the best of them. It's a fun little thing I love doing with him. It's at this awesome 3 story house where each level filled with crazy stuff. It's all about the arts and I just love it! So creative. Love love love.
ahem.
Back to my story. This job has taught me a lot of different things. Actually crazy amounts of things. #1 motherhood is so hard and I'm not even a Mom. But I've pretended for the past year. It's very rewarding and hasn't deterred me from wanting 20 children. Sometimes baby boy will sit on my lap, put both his little man hands on my cheeks and just look at me. I wonder what he sees as he just looks into my eyes and all around my face. I think he see's something I don't. His wide blue eyes light up and I just know he loves me. The job also comes with a lot of stresses as well. I think almost everyday this past week I cried my whole driving home from work. It's a lot of responsibility and I can get so stressed and I want to curl into a little ball.
 I use to tell this theory to my roommates, that I wish we could each have a Giant who would cradle us on demand. My giant could rock me to sleep, and make me feel better. I'm pretty sure that'd be lovely.

But alas (is that word really annoying or really smart sounding?) Heavenly Father helps me thru moments like that. This week I didn't know how much longer I could go on with the stress weighing on me, and He send reprieve and somehow I got off work early Wednesday and today I only worked until noon. Just the time I needed to de-fry my brain. This doesn't happen too often. Tender mercies.


I wonder how I'll handle going from this lifestyle back to the college lifestyle. I'm afraid the transition is going to be rough because of mere habit. What if I keep adding Y's to everything? "You guys I saw the cutest fishy today!"  "Aww look at that wittle birdy!"  "Where's my nose? Whhhhhhhere's my nosey??" I'm not sure in what context I would ever say those things, but HEY ya never know.

I'm trying really hard to find a car to buy but it's proving to be really hard! It's hard giving up all my money to crazy people on craigslist who sound like they are in second grade. "No, problums, Is in grate shapes!"

I started institute this week, and when I left I felt so happy. It was exactly what I've been missing in my life. I'm really grateful for institute. I'm also really grateful for my ward. They are so much fun, they do something every night. I decided I have to limit myself to one activity a week just because every night is too insane for me. I like my down time just like any other Grandma.

I saw "The Woman in Black" last night, and it was so scary!! I always leave movies like that feeling super embarrassed because I really can't control myself. I scream, and say really stupid things. I had my hand over my face for most of the movie, so I'm not sure why I was too scared to sleep last night. See how handy my giant would have been? I know you want one now.

There is my boring life update. You're welcome.

P.S. sorry for the music overload. I'm trying to make an Idaho road trip playlist and this is a handy spot to remember the songs and artists I like.