>Tonight I'm feeling especially grateful. As you read listen to this.
>This past November I had made the decision to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a really hard decision. I struggled for months prior trying to decide whether this was the right thing for me. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. I was very miserable. I finally decided that I needed to just make a decision. Right or wrong, I knew Heavenly Father would help me know. So I finally saw my Bishop (who I was best friends with at this point) and I opened my papers. It felt exciting, and really scary. When I came back to my apartment I told my roommates and they were going crazy! One of my roommates was a return missionary and one was getting ready to leave very soon. For that moment I thought, ok I'm doing this. But I still didn't feel happy.
>The days that followed my decision were terrible. I had such uneasiness. I knew I would be seeing my parents soon for Thanksgiving and I was comforted that I could seek their counsel. The last night of Thanksgiving break I finally broke down to my parents and told them everything I was experiencing. My Mom gave my some wise counsel, and suggested that maybe I wait a little longer to make my decision, and that I would still be blessed either way. Sometime's I convince myself that if I'm not perfect I don't deserve anything good to happen in my life. To me being perfect was serving a mission. As soon as my Mom suggested that I just wait, I had the greatest calm come over me that serving a mission was not right for me now. All throughout the semester I cherished every moment I spent at the beautiful BYU-Idaho campus. For some reason I knew it would be my last semester, at least for awhile. I thought maybe that was initially why I thought I was going to serve a mission.
> As I have come home I have just felt that it is right for me to stay here for awhile. I don't know all the reasons, though I know a few. I don't know exactly where my life is headed, but ever since making the decision to stay home; everything has fallen into place for me. I just got offered a full time nannying job, I was able to sell my housing contract up at school, I've made amazing friends, and I feel like I am meant to be here now. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. I feel so blessed. I have a testimony that Heavenly Father has a plan for us even though some days it feels so confusing and scary. I know that we are probably better than we convince ourselves we are. I know I am being led and prepared for something probably greater than I can comprehend currently. Life is such an adventure. As cheesy as it sounds, it is so true. Even though I've chosen a different path than I initially thought I would, Heavenly Father is showing me a different adventure that I'm going to be taking whatever it may be and I know that I'll be blessed just as much.