Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Real Deal

Alrighty then...

I just wrote a post. I published it. It was really sad and depressing. It was full of open ended innuendos. It was crap. I deleted it. I'm here to write the real deal. My wittle feelings, if you will.

-Okay so right now I'm just really SICK and TIRED of liking boys. WHY DO WE LIKE THEM!? 

-I'm tired of people telling me "oh your prince charming is right around the corner." I read a quote on Pinterest the other day that went something like, "People always say the right one will come along; I think mine got hit by a bus." I laughed and laughed..and then I cried a little.

-I'm so tired of being sad on Sunday nights wishing I had my ex boyfriend to sit and cuddle with me while we sit and watch Hoarders and talk in weird accents. Isn't that so terrible to admit!!! I'm admitting it!! I miss him a lot...I'm such a loser!!

-Sad that I feel like he thinks I'm not as worth it, as he imagined me to be before he got to know me.

-I'm tired of holidays where everyone walks hand in hand acting all lovey and crap. I'm like wow, your so special you have a boyfriend, get over it. *written in thick sarcastic I'm actually really jealous text*

-I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, talented enough. Why do we allow such lies to creep into our minds. I'M AWESOME. (wow, I'm so full of myself. I'm not that awesome. Yes, I am. No, I'm not. Yes, no, yes, no, ye...okay I'm done.)

-I'm tired of wanting a boy in my life so I can make a fort with him..wear thick fuzzy socks and an oversized sweatshirt...and tell funny stories together and laugh a lot and have tickle fights. If that's so wrong, I don't want to be right! *Read in high dramatic voice, with conviction, fist in air.

-I believe in love. Yes. Even as pathetic and sad as I am to admit that. That little light still burns within me. Even though I think my man MUST have been hit by a bus...I hope he heals up real soon, and heads my way. I have lots of fun adventures planned for us.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

My Passion

This past year that I've taken off of school to do some soul searching has had so many ups and downs. I've really had an amazing time, made amazing friends, and amazing experiences though really difficult in the end, wouldn't trade for the world. I originally decided to take a few semesters off to decide what I really wanted to major in. I just couldn't settle for the fact that I was just  going to be a school teacher. They aren't anything spectacular. The major isn't respected in the least, and I felt I had more potential than to be such. I originally decided to major in elementary education because growing up I had a very difficult time in school. I had a lot of learning disabilities that teacher's overlooked and weren't helpful with. Many of them just had to teach for the mass' leaving people like me behind. A lot of time's I just thought of myself as being the dumb one. What I didn't realize as Albert Einstein so cleverly stated,

   "  Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

If you teach a child in such a way that they are incapable of learning, they will go on believing they cannot accomplish much of anything. Once I realized my inabilities I was able to focus on my abilities. Once I figured out how I learned, I figured out that maybe I could accomplish great things in life because I could learn and apply. That is why I wanted to become a teacher. I want to help those students realize that they can learn, they can understand, and they can accomplish great things. It's taken me this year to remember why I wanted to be "just a teacher." And I really don't believe all the false things I believed before. I know teachers are hard working and very respected people. I want to pay it forward by taking what I experienced and turn it into a way of helping these students. I have so many fun ideas I've been storing away for years. I'm ready to rededicate myself and get back to Idaho this April which I'm SO excited about. 

Teacher Compass

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Boo Boo

So as you all know I am a nanny to the sweetest baby. I really love him, and I feel like he's part mine. It has been so much fun to watch him grow from the 4 week old baby I started with into the rambunctious 7 month old he is now. I love to make him laugh, and him laughing makes me laugh which makes him laugh, it is so hysterical. I love to take him on walks because it make's him SO happy. I also love just getting out and exploring. I realized how much of a Mom I feel like on Friday whenever another man was walking with his baby and we had a good laugh over how my B.o.b. (awesome 4-wheel drive stroller) was so much better than his because he had an orange one and baby's is navy. After I passed the man, I realized the conversation I had just had. I had a conversation about stroller's. This was one of my first real moments I felt like a mom. Things are getting scary. I started buying higher rise jeans, and some days I don't wear makeup at all. I do love it though. I love how he is so happy to see me, and he knows no better than to just love me even with all my imperfections. My heart has grown a few sizes since becoming his nanny.