Gotsta

I just had to write something new on here because that old post was really bugging me. I'm SO much happier right now. I feel like my past is finally in the past and I'm happy!

Some things I'm looking forward to:

-Seeing Breaking Dawn tomorrow
-Having my old roomie Lindsay come stay with me this weekend. (YEEEEE!)
-Going rock climbing Saturday
-Running to feed the hungry on Thursday with my friend Dana.
-Spending time with family this next week.
-Going to dinner next week with my high school lovelies.

Some things I loved this past week:

-Seeing my old friend John since he just got home from his mission.
-Skyping with my dearest friend Nickolas from school.
-Going shopping with Rachel and getting hot chocolate.
-Going to the temple.
-Sitting by a ginormous roaring fire in my home.
-Getting cute new clothes.
-Listening to Michael Buble's new Christmas Album (looooooove)

The Real Deal

Alrighty then...

I just wrote a post. I published it. It was really sad and depressing. It was full of open ended innuendos. It was crap. I deleted it. I'm here to write the real deal. My wittle feelings, if you will.

-Okay so right now I'm just really SICK and TIRED of liking boys. WHY DO WE LIKE THEM!? 

-I'm tired of people telling me "oh your prince charming is right around the corner." I read a quote on Pinterest the other day that went something like, "People always say the right one will come along; I think mine got hit by a bus." I laughed and laughed..and then I cried a little.

-I'm so tired of being sad on Sunday nights wishing I had my ex boyfriend to sit and cuddle with me while we sit and watch Hoarders and talk in weird accents. Isn't that so terrible to admit!!! I'm admitting it!! I miss him a lot...I'm such a loser!!


-Sad that I feel like he thinks I'm not as worth it, as he imagined me to be before he got to know me.

-I'm tired of holidays where everyone walks hand in hand acting all lovey and crap. I'm like wow, your so special you have a boyfriend, get over it. *written in thick sarcastic I'm actually really jealous text*

-I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, talented enough. Why do we allow such lies to creep into our minds. I'M AWESOME. (wow, I'm so full of myself. I'm not that awesome. Yes, I am. No, I'm not. Yes, no, yes, no, ye...okay I'm done.)

-I'm tired of wanting a boy in my life so I can make a fort with him..wear thick fuzzy socks and an oversized sweatshirt...and tell funny stories together and laugh a lot and have tickle fights. If that's so wrong, I don't want to be right! *Read in high dramatic voice, with conviction, fist in air.


-I believe in love. Yes. Even as pathetic and sad as I am to admit that. That little light still burns within me. Even though I think my man MUST have been hit by a bus...I hope he heals up real soon, and heads my way. I have lots of fun adventures planned for us.

                                    {theberry.com}

My Passion

This past year that I've taken off of school to do some soul searching has had so many ups and downs. I've really had an amazing time, made amazing friends, and amazing experiences though really difficult in the end, wouldn't trade for the world. I originally decided to take a few semesters off to decide what I really wanted to major in. I just couldn't settle for the fact that I was just  going to be a school teacher. They aren't anything spectacular. The major isn't respected in the least, and I felt I had more potential than to be such. I originally decided to major in elementary education because growing up I had a very difficult time in school. I had a lot of learning disabilities that teacher's overlooked and weren't helpful with. Many of them just had to teach for the mass' leaving people like me behind. A lot of time's I just thought of myself as being the dumb one. What I didn't realize as Albert Einstein so cleverly stated,

   "  Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

If you teach a child in such a way that they are incapable of learning, they will go on believing they cannot accomplish much of anything. Once I realized my inabilities I was able to focus on my abilities. Once I figured out how I learned, I figured out that maybe I could accomplish great things in life because I could learn and apply. That is why I wanted to become a teacher. I want to help those students realize that they can learn, they can understand, and they can accomplish great things. It's taken me this year to remember why I wanted to be "just a teacher." And I really don't believe all the false things I believed before. I know teachers are hard working and very respected people. I want to pay it forward by taking what I experienced and turn it into a way of helping these students. I have so many fun ideas I've been storing away for years. I'm ready to rededicate myself and get back to Idaho this April which I'm SO excited about. 

{http://www.digiscrapdepot.com/freebies/wordart/teacher-compass/65477.aspx}

Boo Boo

So as you all know I am a nanny to the sweetest baby. I really love him, and I feel like he's part mine. It has been so much fun to watch him grow from the 4 week old baby I started with into the rambunctious 7 month old he is now. I love to make him laugh, and him laughing makes me laugh which makes him laugh, it is so hysterical. I love to take him on walks because it make's him SO happy. I also love just getting out and exploring. I realized how much of a Mom I feel like on Friday whenever another man was walking with his baby and we had a good laugh over how my B.o.b. (awesome 4-wheel drive stroller) was so much better than his because he had an orange one and baby's is navy. After I passed the man, I realized the conversation I had just had. I had a conversation about stroller's. This was one of my first real moments I felt like a mom. Things are getting scary. I started buying higher rise jeans, and some days I don't wear makeup at all. I do love it though. I love how he is so happy to see me, and he knows no better than to just love me even with all my imperfections. My heart has grown a few sizes since becoming his nanny.

FLORIDA

Last month I got to visit the beautiful state of FLORIDA. It was a lot of fun! I went to visit my dearest friends that I met while in Idaho.

The water was so warm and clear! It was a little scary. The fish were nipping at us and I was trying to stay calm until Annalee freaked out it gave me permission to do the same! I loved it though it was definitely a different experience than the beaches at home.

My sweetest friend Annalee!

After getting back from the beach we headed to Annalee's husband's school FIU. We explored and it was actually so much fun. The campus was so beautiful. We discovered these awesome rocking benches that were covered and the entire thing rocked. It was like one giant rocking chair. We loved it!

 

On the way to the Santos' and Russ' home to stay for the wedding, Blake wanted us to drive through the everglades so they could show me some gators! This was right off of the freeway. We were standing on an overpass. We threw whatever we could into the water to get the gators to come up. It was so cool! I think around 6 appeared out of nowhere. I was so excited. 

 

That night we stayed at Blakes parents' home. Annalee and Blake told me we might be able to go air-boating. Bo their brother-in-law is really into air-boating and agreed to take us the next morning. It was so much fun! I was really excited to do this. I got some videos. It was so beautiful and a crazy experience. Blake told me he would catch me a gator, I was really excited and secretly really scared and hoping we wouldn't see one. Well he ended up catching one! I was really afraid of touching it and I thought it was going to bite my hand off but in the end it was okay. Once Blake told me he was going to let go I begged him not too. But I did it!

That afternoon we went to the cutest little restaurant. It was a family friend's apparently and the food was absolutely amazing! I had chicken and waffles. I also tried grits for the first time and it was sooooo good.

Oh I forgot to mention Annalee got to drive the air-boat! Look at that face of rage. (:

                 That night I got to attend my dear friend Brenna's wedding! I lived with her a few years ago. It was one of my best semesters.

This is JARI. My friend forever. Lolo is the girl on the right who is also a friend from school. She lived in the same complex as me and will forever be remembered as my go to dance partner and party girl! I love her!

My favorite couple!!! Love them.

   

Jari and I went to DISNEYWORLD! I loved it! She knew exactly where to go and what to do. She use to work at disneyworld so it was awesome she knew what to do. She gave me the EXPERIENCE. We did all 4 parks in one day. I think I passed out that night but it was absolutely amazing. I love love love my Jari.

 

Overall I had an amazing time. Everyone I stayed with worked so hard to show me a good time. It was amazing to stay with real Floridians who showed me the true Florida experience. I love and miss you all!

Bursting

I am so excited for Fall I am going to BURST!  Seriously. The clothes, the smells, the weather, the food. Mmmmmm. I love it all so much. I haven't been home for two years during the Fall and I'm very excited.

                                                    {http://dressdesigndecor.blogspot.com}

                          
                         {http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lobaiqK4h91qinrp8o1_500.jpg}

                                                 {http://jennysteffens.blogspot.com}

                             {http://outcamethesun.tumblr.com/tagged/clothing_inspiration}

                                                               {Maybe Halloween}

Tonight

Tonight I'm dreaming. Yes dreaming! Dreaming of a happier tomorrow. A place with lots of fluffy pillows, and chocolate that is zero calories. A place where I know I'm safe. But don't worry I am happy. I read some really amazing talks today that really touched my heart. You should read them. The first was "Come What May and Love It" by Elder Worthlin. Second is "Finding Joy in the Journey" by President Thomas S. Monson.They filled my heart with warmth when I thought nothing could.  Nothing soothes my soul like the The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm always amazed at the Angels sent into my life when struggle enters my friends all contact me at once, pouring out their love for me just because. I know that is no coincidence.

Here is a teaser:

I also loved this one by Elder Bednar:

Stay tuned for my blog Florida Edition!

Truth

{Pintrest}

Vacation Vacation Vacation

If you say vacation enough time's it starts sounding really weird. 

Our family took a mini vacation to Stinson Beach and San Francisco.

It was really fun, and so nice to just go. Most of the pictures I took were

from a film camera, so alas I don't have them yet! Here are a few to satisfy

my fan base.  

My favorite part was walking the Golden Gate Bridge.

New life desire: ride tandem across this baby.

This picture was taken during the one second their weren't millions

of people around. The sidewalk was insanely crowded

since only one side of the bridge was open.

Stinson Beach where the seagulls WILL eat you.

The Heart

Their is no use in me sleeping. I probably won't for at least a week. I'm experiencing heartache. I hate heartache. Is anything worse really? No. I won't say why for awhile but it's happening. I think I'm a firm believer in the patchwork heart. I think we all have patchwork hearts. In life different people have effects on us. When we love a person they take a piece of our hearts with them and we take a piece of theirs for us. This results in a patchwork heart, made up of lots of different pieces of people we love and have made an impact on our lives. Sometimes when that person we love has to leave us, it hurts really bad at first, because first they are taking a piece of us with them and second we take a piece of them. The sewing on of that person's heart hurts really bad. You think why do I have to go through such pain. Especially when the pain feels so unnecessary and you feel so uncertain of the choice that was made. I guess I just have to accept the new piece of heart I received and keep moving forward, whether it feels okay or not.. 

Misty Blue

Boo

Once upon a time I wanted to cut my hair like Ginnifer Goodwin

{haironthebrain.com}

Then her Mother and Brother crushed her dreams and said, "PLEASE DON'T." I thought they were going to cry about it. I really want to though..I just might defy my Mother. Just might defy...

The Worst

What's worse than stubbing your baby toe? NOTHING.

Fresh Prince Lovin'

Chances

So a few days ago, I popped in the good ol' movie "Hope Floats." We all know and love it as our go to chick flick. I always remember my Mum watching it growing up, and I sort of thought she use to know Sandra Bullock or something? I was such a strange child. Or my Mom lied to me a lot...We won't get into details here, but something really stuck out to me in the movie this time I watched it. I can't remember the exact scene, but Momma was talking to Birdee about chances. She was telling Birdee how she wastes chances. "Do you think behind one chance their is another one and another one?" She said it was the worst extravagance how she wasted chances. It stood out to me, and I'm glad it did. I don't want to take for granted anything! I don't want to find out that if behind one chance their is another one and another one. I want to take the chances I'm given in life. I don't want to ever look back, and think for a second I missed out.

The Haps

I feel my blog needs some love. It hasn't gotten much lately. My life has been JAM packed lately. Hopefully to slow down a tinge now I'm DONE with school for awhile. (HALLELUJAH) I haven't taken many pictures regretfully. I should take more, but people always give me weird looks when I'm like, "hey YOU!! Say cheese, or ELSE!".."Oh sorry, thought you were someone else, uhh, ha, that's so funny, I thought you were some..one..ok bye."  (run away fast, fasterrrr)

Excitings Things Goings Ons:

-Baby William is growing in size and so are my arm muscles.

-I'm dating a fun new boy. He's a fighter, painter, and chess player. Oh yes and thuper duper cute. You can view him here. A Tom Jones song was playing in this movie we watched, and we both broke out in song during the chorus at the same time. Yeah...I know.

- I got my mom a super cute new couch from the lady I work for. For free.

-I got my associate's degree. Yeeeeeeeeee.

-I'm a little blonder.

-I'm going to FLORIDA next month to see some of my most favorite human beings ever!!! I'm sooo excited x 20 million +4.

-I watch my sister play softball during her weekly games and it's pretty fun and she's good!

-I went to the fair with Josh, Mum, and Dad Saturday. It was a hoot. Minus the part where Josh wouldn't ride any rides with me.

-Yep, I could go on, but my bed is calling. Don't want to be rude...

When I Grow Up...

Let's play a game called...what should alexie be when she grows up!
Ooooooh. This is exciting! She likes things like...

-Nutrition
-Communications type stuff
-Writing
-Criminal Investigation (ohh yeahhh!)
-Children
-Traveling
-British Men
-Blond Men...ohhhh wheeeeewooops. I  somehow got off track...

I'm taking suggestions below. Feel free to give ANY!

Babies

Now don't get me wrong. Babies. Cute. Cute babies. I get it. I AGREE. Most of the time at least. Today I didn't agree with this statement. I watched sweet baby boy whom I nanny with all the vigor and love I can muster up. Today, I wanted to give up. Colic. Ever heard of it? If you have,  you've probably had some terrible experience with it. Today was my first adventure with colic. Nothing I did could calm this baby. EXCEPT, walking up and down the street, but he would scream if I put him in his stroller. So now my mother will have to spoon feed me because I can barely lift my arms. 

Films

I have an especial love in my heart for Independent Films or general "unknowns". The cinematography is absolutely beautiful. I think I like them so much, because they are so real. I know people go to the movie's to escape life, but sometime's I want to watch a movie and know someone is feeling what I am feeling, or living like I am living. I like things to be different and a little crazy. My favorite thing is to browse through netflix and pick a million crazy movies no one has ever heard of. Many become my favorite movie's. I would love to attend a film festival someday and I plan on doing just that.

Mum

MuM

It's hard to put into words the things really only you can feel, and that can't be described or crunched into one word. I have a mother who take's her role very seriously. She has always put her children first. She always knows what we are feeling. I believe honestly that is a spiritual gift she has. I know it's come into play many time's in my life as I don't like to say when I'm sad but my Mom just always knows. She is the greatest example of what I want to be. Their is no other person who can love as much as my Mother can. I see she learned by example from my Grandma Peck. It's a beautiful thing to be apart of and I'm grateful for such a mother.

To be or Not

I was thinking about my life and the events that have occurred as of lately. I was thinking of life and opportunities. It got me thinking about what happens in life. Have you ever had something in your life that you knew was supposed to happen, you knew it would, but then it didn't happen. I wonder if in life you are shown opportunities but they never go anywhere because you or say another person did not act. Action was not taken when it was supposed to be, and so the thing that was supposed to happen didn't? Making sense? Probably not. It's okay I understand. I wonder if those things that don't happen never were ever meant to really happen, but only served as a learning experience for you. So many times I think life could go this way or that way, but what if it was only supposed to go one way all along, because the things you didn't do were never really supposed to be apart of your "life plan." I know. I think too much.

SO EXCITED

Seeing as I'm  able to watch more daytime tv, as I like to keep it on to keep me company during the day. I have been closely watching the wedding plans of Kate and William. I am so excited for them. I can't even imagine what they are feeling right now. Only 4 more days...

Stars

Growing up as a child my Grandma and Grandpa Peck instilled a few things in me that I love. They knew how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and they showed them to me. My love grew for these simples pleasures. One of them was to take the time to look up at the big beautiful sky filled with diamonds. I can remember countless nights on the trampoline with my Grandma just laying with our heads towards the sky, listening to the crickets and frogs in the distance (looooove those sounds). Enjoying the beauty that is the stars. It sounds so cliche to say "I love looking at the stars." But I cannot help it. I think truly it is one of my favorite past times. This past summer I went camping with some friends, and my friend Caleb had an app on his phone that allowed you to put his phone up towards the sky and it told you each stars name and everything you could think of. It was so amazing, I loved it! I also remember in one of my favorite movies this boy got a star officially named after the girl he liked. He did it for her because she loved the night sky so much. I think I would like that very much. I might regret posting this, because I sound SO nerdy. But whatevs. Shooting stars are my favorite, they feel like a burst of magic shooting through the sky. 

Picture from {Astronomy Picture of the Day Index-Stars: Open Clusters}

Humor

So grab my hand, and let's take a walk. A walk down memory lane. C'mon now, just grab it. 

So I was reading in one of my old journals where I had made a list of qualities I desired in a spouse. I believe this had been a part of a young woman's activity I had participated in. I read it just a while back, and found it to be the most humorous list. Let me show you this little list, mind you I was probably around 12-14ish. 

Future spouse qualities (no particular order):

-Return Missionary

-Funny

-Humble

-Teachable (I was smart at a very young age)

-Loving

-Kind

-Sincere

-Observant

-Compassionate

-Spontaneous

-Happy

-Positive

-Hard worker

-Talented

-Understanding

As I read my old list, I thought to myself that maybe I should revisit my list..ya know..clean it up a little. I think I might have had big ambitions, and don't get me wrong I still do, but I think I know a little more of what I want now in my life. 

I've done my fair share of dating. The more I date the more I realize what it is I really want. The things that really make me happy. I won't write out my list, because that's embarrassing, but I assure you it is much shorter, more realistic, yet it includes the things I've really come to realize are important. I've also realized some aspects in a personality come with time.

One of the things that is on my list now is "funny." I think the thing I really love most is to laugh. I do it pretty easily and sometimes very loudly. Joshua is always amazed at just how loud my laugh is. He always make's fun of me because he says I laugh at all the things no one else laughs at, and since my laugh is so loud, it causes many embarrassing moments for the dear pubescent boy who gets embarrassed easily. He constantly is just looking at me in disbelief. I do love to embarrass my dear brother.

Having "funny" as one of the important things may seem really silly to some, but to me it is REALLY important. It is one of the most attractive qualities about a person. How can you not be happy when you are laughing? 

Tommy Boy anyone?

Music Lovin

 

I love Lissie

I love men and guitars..preferably when they are together.

 

I love burberry acoustic

Blessed

>Tonight I'm feeling especially grateful. As you read listen to this.

>This past November I had made the decision to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a really hard decision. I struggled for months prior trying to decide whether this was the right thing for me. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. I was very miserable. I finally decided that I needed to just make a decision. Right or wrong, I knew Heavenly Father would help me know. So I finally saw my Bishop (who I was best friends with at this point) and I opened my papers. It felt exciting, and really scary. When I came back to my apartment I told my roommates and they were going crazy! One of my roommates was a return missionary and one was getting ready to leave very soon. For that moment I thought, ok I'm doing this. But I still didn't feel happy.

>The days that followed my decision were terrible. I had such uneasiness. I knew I would be seeing my parents soon for Thanksgiving and I was comforted that I could seek their counsel. The last night of Thanksgiving break I finally broke down to my parents and told them everything I was experiencing. My Mom gave my some wise counsel, and suggested that maybe I wait a little longer to make my decision, and that I would still be blessed either way. Sometime's I convince myself that if I'm not perfect I don't deserve anything good to happen in my life. To me being perfect was serving a mission. As soon as my Mom suggested that I just wait, I had the greatest calm come over me that serving a mission was not right for me now. All throughout the semester I cherished every moment I spent at the beautiful BYU-Idaho campus. For some reason I knew it would be my last semester, at least for awhile. I thought maybe that was initially why I thought I was going to serve a mission.

> As I have come home I have just felt that it is right for me to stay here for awhile. I don't know all the reasons, though I know a few. I don't know exactly where my life is headed, but ever since making the decision to stay home; everything has fallen into place for me. I just got offered a full time nannying job, I was able to sell my housing contract up at school, I've made amazing friends, and I feel like I am meant to be here now. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. I feel so blessed. I have a testimony that Heavenly Father has a plan for us even though some days it feels so confusing and scary. I know that we are probably better than we convince ourselves we are. I know I am being led and prepared for something probably greater than I can comprehend currently. Life is such an adventure. As cheesy as it sounds, it is so true. Even though I've chosen a different path than I initially thought I would, Heavenly Father is showing me a different adventure that I'm going to be taking whatever it may be and I know that I'll be blessed just as much.